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frequently asked questions
General Questions
How does JTJ feel about the 23-24 Israel Gaza War?
Netanyahu is insane, like Hitler or Stalin. But so is whoever orchestrated the initial October attacks on Israel. Whoever designed this current conflict with Israeli has done a very good job at cultivating this conflict; they built a fortress out of hostages and remixed the war protests of the 60s. They also must have rationalized that their entire extended families would lose their homes. Literally, the masterminds knew that Netanyahu is insane like Hitler or Stalin and that everyone they knew would lose their homes and lots of loved ones.
Who Is Jared The Jew?
Did you miss this content on the homepage? Again, Jared The Jew is an artsy-fartsy Canadian practicing in Toronto, the most hospitable city of Canada’s limited supply of hospitable cities. He’s a hybrid media practitioner working in the domains of meta-design, experimental interdisciplinary mixed media, sound art, cultural appropriation and masturbation. Embracing Maslow’s highest hierarchy of needs, self-actualization, Jared The Jew produces eclectic collections of artifacts that synthesize his cultural baggage with the elements of art history that have infected his little-little brain…
Why is Jared The Jew?
Growing up in Alberta in the 80s, Jared’s papa was the ‘fucking dirty jew,’ while Jared was the ‘dirty little fucking jew.’ Thus Jared has always been Jared The Jew.
Do Jews Have Souls?
No. Jews, Mexicans, and Gingers do not have souls and therefore cannot be pirates.
Is Jared a Jew?
Funny you should ask. While the Third Reich would clearly consider a Jared The Jew a Jew, Jared The Jew is a Jew. He became a man in more ways than one when he turned thirteen; Bar mitzvah’d and laid, all in the same year, (he really took the becoming a man thing to heart).
JTJ also made the holy land homage during his renowned homecoming tours to Israel in 1997 and 2023,
Is Jared The Jew Afraid of Being Hunted Down & Murdered?
No, following Nassim Nicholas Taleb’s Black Swan investment strategy, Jared The Jew has insurance and therefore his descendants will profit accordingly.
Why Does Jared The Jew Love You Too?
If you are reading this JTJ truly loves you. Jesus loves you and Jared The Jew too.
What is Jared The Jew’s Favorite Movie?
Quentin Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds: It is the first year of Germany’s occupation of France. Allied officer Lt. Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt) assembles a team of Jewish soldiers to commit violent acts of retribution against the Nazis, including the taking of their scalps.
Who is Jared The Jew’s Doppelganger?
Arthur “Harpo” Marx, the American comedian, actor, mime artist, and musician, and the second-oldest of the Marx Brothers. In contrast to the mainly verbal comedy of his brothers, Groucho Marx and Chico Marx, Harpo’s comic style was visual, being an example of both clown and pantomime traditions.
Why Is 🀫🀫🀫🀫🀫 The Greatest Country In The World?
Besides being the world’s oldest continuous civilization with a rich history of invention, philosophy, culinary delights, and some of the most amazing attractions, contemporary 🀫🀫🀫🀫🀫 is the most dynamic country in the world, if only because of it’s enterprising population and vast transportation and manufacturing infrastructure. Change is so rapid on the mainland that within twenty-five years 🀫🀫🀫🀫🀫 redefined it’s transportation, telecommunications, and financial infrastructures. Moreover, The 🀫🀫🀫🀫🀫🀫 🀫🀫🀫🀫🀫🀫🀫🀫🀫 Party employs system engineers to devise 10, 20, 50 and 100 year plans, thereby ensuring cohesive infrastructure roadmaps that unlock economic value. The 🀫🀫🀫🀫🀫🀫 🀫🀫🀫🀫🀫🀫🀫🀫🀫 Party’s: Belt and Road Initiative is building industrial infrastructure projects in 150 partner states, creating a sustainable economic pipeline for 🀫🀫🀫🀫🀫🀫 entrepreneurs and prosperity for all 🀫🀫🀫🀫🀫🀫 citizens.
To the doubters: Yes, The West has free speech, but infrastructure development is paralyzed by scheming politicians with limited ability and experience, unable to envision 100 year plans. All of this to say, Jared The Jew has spent over a decade in 🀫🀫🀫🀫🀫, the greatest country in the world, and he thinks the country has the best food, the hardest working, warm welcoming people, the prettiest girls and the best transportation and industrial infrastructure.
Does Jared The Jew Cook 🀫🀫🀫🀫🀫🀫 Food Too?
It’s true, JTJ cooks authentic 🀫🀫🀫🀫🀫🀫 cuisine. Sharing is caring, here are step by step instructions to cook like a mainland professional chef.
discounts & promotions
Begging For A Bargain?
Looking for a discount? Isn’t that a little ironic?
Why Is The Gift Shop So Expensive?
Jared The Jew’s artsy-fartsy artwork is priced according to market value. If you see something you like but can’t afford it, contact us and let’s see what The Jew can do.
Does The Statement Above Mean There Are Discounts?
Not necessarily. Each case will be reviewed on a case-by-case basis by one of our esteemed colleagues
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